Chris Shaw posed another question in his SQL Quiz and I was tagged by Jonathan Kehayias this time, so here goes…
The question:
What are the largest challenges that you have faced in your career and how did you overcome those?
Answer #1: Being let go
One of the ways we define ourselves is by how well we do our jobs; we take pride in what we do (well, most of us do anyways) and nothing makes you question your skills, worth, and value like being let go. Call it the professional version of being dumped by a significant other. I was let go once and it completely blindsided me. Not only did my supervisor tell me I had nothing to worry about but I thought I was pretty well respected as the go-to type of guy. My coworkers even told me I was irreplaceable - “they’d be stupid to let you go!”, they said, and I bought it. Wow was that a big mistake. To this day I remember the surreal feeling of sitting in my supervisor’s office and hearing him explain in what seemed like slow motion what was going down. To top it off, it was 5 days before Christmas and I had family visiting in town.
How I got over it:
I went through the typical range of emotions that come with a life altering event like this. But once I got over my anger\resentment I realized that for once I was going to be able to enjoy Christmas. No beeper. No 3 AM calls from the NOC. No piles of work waiting for me when I returned after the holidays. I was fortunate enough to receive a decent severance which allowed me to take a couple of weeks off and just enjoy life, and it was wonderful! The timing ended up working in my favor, too, since most companies start looking to fill positions Jan 1 when budgets kick in and money is available. While I looked for a new job I was able to reconnect with colleagues I had lost touch with, travel the state to visit siblings I hadn’t seen in a while, and spend more time with my wife and kids than I ever had the chance to do while I was working. Looking back, it was probably one of the best two months of my life! Now I’m a firm believer that things happen for a reason, and since my departure my former employer has changed (putting it politely). My supervisor and his supervisor were both let go not too long afterwards and the company “partnered” with a larger company that turned around and outsourced most of the business. The stories I hear from my former coworkers me make me realize that I would probably be so dissatisfied with the environment now that if I hadn’t been let go I would have left on my own. Although it sure as heck didn’t seem like it at the time, I realize now that being let go was a blessing in disguise and I am in a much better place today because of it.
What I learned:
- No one is irreplaceable. The minute you think you are something will happen to change that.
- Things happen for a reason. You may not understand it first, but give it time and you will.
- Sometimes you just have to play the cards you’ve been dealt, even if it feels like a raw deal. It’s how you play them that makes a difference in the outcome.
Answer #2: Finding the right balance between work and life
It’s easy to become so consumed by your career that it can happen without you even realizing it. I was so balls to the wall at my first job out of college that I would work at any time of the day or night I could to get my job done. I was recently married, didn’t have kids, and my wife knew the value of doing well so she encouraged\supported me. Fast forward to about three years ago when I had two kids and a career on the rise. I was was pushing 80 hour work weeks which was great for my company but not for life at home. Somewhere between hearing my kids say (on more than one occasion) “daddy works all the time” and telling my wife “things will get better, I just need to get through this project” for the umpteenth time is when it hit me that I was spending more quality time with my computer than with my family. Shortly after that, the events in my first answer played out.
How I got over it:
I’ve come to realize that I don’t have to be a superman to do well, nor do I feel like I have to do it all anymore. When scheduling things that need to happen outside of normal hours I make it a point to find a time that doesn’t conflict with my responsibilities at home. Instead of working until 8 PM I’ll leave the office at a normal time, take a break for a few hours and spend time with my family, then go back to it once my kids are asleep. Or, as appalling as this might sound, I simply leave it for the next day. Working all the time wore me down, both mentally and physically; On the other hand taking a break gives my brain a break, which in turn makes me more productive and more friendly. I get that emergencies happen and there will be times when I have to drop everything and work for a few hours but now they’re true emergencies and not the artificial ones I was creating for myself.
What I learned:
- Going all out to do a good job is admirable, but not when it comes at the cost of those around you. A job should be a means to an end, not an end unto itself.
- Take time to take a break from work. Find a hobby or spend more time with your family. It will make you a happier and more productive person.
OK, time to tag two more people. Andy Warren and Jack Corbett, you’re it!